7 Reasons We Should not Have Worn Masks During the Pandemic

Now that masks are mostly obsolete for the fully-vaccinated, let me remind you why we never should have worn masks in the first place:

1. Masks are prohibitively heavy
2. It is nearly impossible to find a mask that perfectly matches your outfit
3. They take up too much space in your pocket or bag, leaving little room for essentials like those business cards from that interview you went on seven years ago
4. Masks give you weird tan lines, and no one wants to look weird during a global pandemic
5. Masks diminish your sense of smell, and it’s vital to know when someone farts or if there was garlic in their lunch
6. Masks prevent people from hearing your speech impediment, and without that knowledge how will they talk behind your back?
7. Wearing a mask might prevent you from getting sick, in which case you won’t be able to use your sick days before they expire